Hole in What?

This weekend was the official celebration of my daughters 7th birthday. I had discussed with her a few weeks back what she wanted to do. It was explained to her that this year we were on a budget (broke) and we wouldn’t be doing a big party. Well lucky for us she had zero issues not having a big party and decided she only needed two things to have a good birthday. The first was dinner at Olive Garden which was not an absolute if it hinders her chance at getting the second thing… Miniature Golf or Mini Golf as her and her brother so passionately refer to it. Well in the last week she had already made two trips to olive garden before she even made it to my house, one with her nana and the other with her auntie. I swear this kid must be some kind of con artist. So Saturday comes and we trade in olive garden for a trip to rigatonis, hey all the kid wanted was some fettuccini alfredo anyways. With dinner out of the way we proceeded onto phase 2 of our evening, Mini Golf! As we pulled into the driveway of Golfland the excitement was already about to explode in the backseat. Chants of “Oh yeah, mini golf!” and “Mini golf boo yah!” were flowing like water, when your 4 and 7 years old miniature golf is a legit reasons to lose your mind.

 As we walk toward the front window we pass the knights of eighteen holes. Those suits of armor standing tall and proud let you know one thing and one thing only… There’s no turning back now. Eighteen glorious holes of pure madness. Whether it’s a haunted house, a loop to loop or a moat it doesn’t matter you’re going down. We made it to the window gathered up our clubs and balls and grabbed a scorecard then proceeded to the first hole which just happened to have a giant swinging pillar to disrupt that hole in one your thinking about shooting. The golfing order had been decided, it would be youngest to oldest with my son going first then his sister with mom following and me swinging clean up. The thing with miniature golf is your going to hit a few off the course along with a few shots in some sort of body of water and every once in a while right over the obstacle itself. That’s the fun of mini golf it’s about having a good time and not about having proper form and technique. As a matter of fact if you play a round of mini golf like you would play a round at a real course then you have no business being anywhere near a brightly colored putter and neon golf ball! Check your seriousness at the knights and be ready for some laughs and some trash talk. It’s actually a scientific fact that during miniature golf is one of the only times your children will lose their minds and start talking trash to you like some sort of street baller at a AND 1 game. I’ve never been taunted by my kids so much in my life.

Hole after hole at least one of us had something to say to another at one point my 4 year old was giving tips to the kid behind us. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that by the 10th hole he had become some sort PGA certified instructor. By the time we reached the 18th hole the damage was done, we were eager to see who had earned the right to all the smack they had talked over the last hour. We tallied the scores and guess who was on top? ME of course I had beat MOM by four strokes, I guess that hole in one I sunk on the 16th hole probably helped a little. Not only did I beat the rest of the family but I managed to sink the 19th  hole and won a free game which was a first for me. The kids pouted a bit that they didn’t win a free game on the 19th hole but that quickly disappeared along with them into the Golfland arcade., it wasn’t anything a few tokens couldn’t fix. Overall it was a good family night out and my daughter had a great time which is all that mattered at the end of the night.

Jason Burum


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