Too Long

It seems like it’s been a thousand years since I have written anything here! I’ve been so busy with a new project that I’ve neglected my loyal readers… Well if I can call you that? I promise I will have something new and hilarious for you to read shortly. Until then enjoy this picture of something only a moron would do!

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For the love of…

So after only 4 days of existing my piece that basically just tells you to put hot sauce on a cheeseburger is only 15 views away from being my most viewed post of all time! You people are so fat!

But on a serious note thanks to everyone who reads the blog. I’m on the verge of a real accomplishment thanks to all the support I get. Without every single last one of my readers I wouldn’t be motivated to push forward. It’s been 8 months of solid straight through writing and the only compensation I’ve seen is $3.03 that I have no way of receiving and a PDF file of the book I was published in so nobody can say I don’t love what I do. Keep reading and I’ll keep writing!

Jason Burum

Tu Tienda Azteca

I want to thank Oscar over @Tu Tienda Azteca in Hayward for the interview today and my son would like to thank him for the Lucha score! If you love traditional Mexican art you really need to check them out! None of that made in china look a like crap, they only carry authentic items purchased directly from the source in Mexico. Click the link and enjoy!

Jason Burum

The death of delicious

Now let me start by reassuring you that your favorite stripper has not passed away but in fact I’m writing about the loss of my favorite liquor store treat. As a matter of fact I’m talking about the death of the best microwave burrito that the world had ever tasted, REL’S RED HOT BURRITO. Let me start at the beginning of my relationship with the delicious treat that was a red hot. I originally discovered the king of the liquor store lunch menu in 1988. Continue reading

Houston we have a problem…

So over the last 24 hours I’ve been subject endless times to the fact that Whitney Houston has passed away. I was actually first  informed of her death by the girl behind the counter at the chicken restaurant as me and my mother walked back through the door to pick up the food we had ordered ten minutes earlier. Continue reading

NAZI’S FROM SPACE! in IRON SKY

So today as I was doing research for a time traveling Hitler related story i’m writing for an alternative history anthology I came across something that really sparked my interest. Using the search terms “are ludwigsdorf and kecksburg pa on the same geographical line?” I found an article which had some info about “Die Glocke” which is what I was looking for, but it also had a reference to some film that was being released this year called “IRON SKY”. Continue reading

Memoirs of a Squared Circle

My fifth grade school year can be described in various terms. The first being overwhelming due to the fact that I had been uprooted from the only school I had ever known and dropped into a new school in a completely different city. To be honest I had no issues with the city itself (I basically grew up in Oakland before we moved there) but the problem lied within the fact I knew no one other than my cousin at this new school. That alone can terrorize any ten year old because contrary to belief fitting in isn’t always as easy as it sounds. Continue reading

Memoirs of a Squared Circle

So today while rummaging through boxes that me and my significant other have stuffed so generously into our son’s closet I came across something that took me back to days of my youth. Now what I was initially looking for were old theatre calendar’s for a piece I’m working on, but what I came across was a few old wrestling magazines along with my official idiots guide to professional wrestling! The book actually came from the tail end of my interest in the sport. My obsession with pro wrestling started sometime in the early 80’s. I couldn’t tell you exactly when, but I can say as long as I’ve had memory’s professional wrestling has been part of them. Continue reading

How I wasted my youth

Yesterday while I was at work I watched two of our regular customers dump quarter after quarter into the multicade machine we have in our micro arcade area. Seriously it’s small we only have the multicade and ms. pac-man! Watching them play that machine took me back to my days of youth when I would pump quarters like my life depended on it into the games at the round table pizza and two star liquors around the corner from my house. I miss the days when I could spend hours huddled around some random arcade game with my quarter posted up on the glass waiting to be up next. Those were the days! So in honor of those games I went hungry for pumping my lunch money into that glowing red coin slot I present you with 20 random marquees of the games that robbed me of my youth and my dignity…

Continue reading

12 creepy foreign flicks to watch

Here it is! My complete and comprehensive mind blowing list of 12 foreign Horror/Sci-Fi films you should watch… Right now! There’s a little bit of everything mixed in here from terrifying to suspenseful all the way down too campy and downright fun. I’ll be bringing you this list of awesomeness in three part, #12-9, #8-5 and #4-1. Now before I get started I know some people are going to moan and groan about the movies that are nowhere to be found. So let me address that before we go any further. Films like District 9, High Tension and Night Watch all had large U.S. theatrical distribution so most people are well aware of them and don’t need me to acknowledge their existence. Also I snubbed the Asian market due to the fact it already has a huge following in the states and nobody needs me to tell them about what they already know about. And besides it’s my list not yours, so shut up and watch these movies! Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you #4-1

 

4. Timecrimes (2007 SPAIN)                                                             

Have you ever been chased through the woods by a psychopath with a sharp object and that feeling hits you… This seems all too familiar. That’s what we call déjà vu and it’s one of the many negative side effects of time travel. There are three things you need to be aware of before traveling through time. First, don’t be a pervert. Second, listen when people tell you specifically what not to do. And third, nothing positive ever comes from bending the time space continuum. So follow those simple rules and you’ll realize Timecrimes is a well played sci-fi thriller that’s good to the last drop.

Continue reading

12 creepy foreign flicks to watch

Here it is! My complete and comprehensive mind blowing list of 12 foreign Horror/Sci-Fi films you should watch… Right now! There’s a little bit of everything mixed in here from terrifying to suspenseful all the way down too campy and downright fun. I’ll be bringing you this list of awesomeness in three part, #12-9, #8-5 and #4-1. Now before I get started I know some people are going to moan and groan about the movies that are nowhere to be found. So let me address that before we go any further. Films like District 9, High Tension and Night Watch all had large U.S. theatrical distribution so most people are well aware of them and don’t need me to acknowledge their existence. Also I snubbed the Asian market due to the fact it already has a huge following in the states and nobody needs me to tell them about what they already know about. And besides it’s my list not yours, so shut up and watch these movies! Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you #8-5

 

8. Shiver (2008 SPAIN)                                                                       

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of a thin pasty white creature that can be killed by direct sunlight? Well obviously it’s a socially awkward Spanish teenager with a serious medical condition! What’s the only cure for something like that you ask? What you’re going to need to do is move to a small town in the valley where gloom excludes the sunshine from participating in everyday life. Then  you’re going to need to be terrorized by a mysterious creature that lurks in the woods all while having the whole town be completely suspicious of you because your the new guy. Shiver thoroughly creeped me out and I hope it will do the same for you. Continue reading

Misconception of value

There used to be a clear line between unwanted and worthless versus vintage and valuable. Nowadays that line is blurred beyond recognition, as a matter of fact it doesn’t even exist anymore. If it’s old nowadays it must be worth a fortune right? Well that’s where you’re absolutely and completely wrong! Between ebay, etsy and the variously crappy auction type reality shows every clown that has gone to a flea market once has become a seasoned antiques expert. Continue reading

Long ago

So I feel as if I’ve neglected my readers enough around these parts! I vow to get back to entertaining you full time or at least in a bi weekly manner (fingers crossed). Also in the coming weeks I will be launching a food blog catering toward the monstrosities of fast food. All the menu items that your favorite burger joints and hot dog stands knew were amazing but didn’t have the balls to put on the menu due to there calorie counts alone!

Thanks for the continued support from all 6 of my loyal readers!

Sincerely, Me….

Garage sale band

If any of you reading this have ever been to the flea market or a garage sale you understand the importance of being a master haggler! It’s the thrill of getting to buy something they wanted three bucks for at the low low price of seventy five cents. Purchasing those pair of slightly never ever worn pumas for only ten bucks or getting the entire tales from the crypt collection unwrapped on DVD for forty dollars. I once purchased a original framed UFC Shamrock vs. Severn poster along with a framed collection that included a news paper article, two tickets and fighter credentials from a local San Jose fighter all for only $10! Continue reading